Attention! Therapy Junkies!


If your monthly therapy bills are more than you can afford, consolidate those bills into one easy payment.
Switch to Rolfing®.
Rolfing is more painful than all standard therapies, combined.  It gets more done – and you do it in your underwear.
Amaze your friends as your head and the rest of your body change size and shape.  Antagonize your enemies with acute observations about their physical shortcomings. Run up huge bills for shoes and new clothes because your old ones no longer fit.  Look more slender while actually gaining weight. 
Rolfing was developed more than fifty years ago by Dr. Ida P. Rolf, a scientist who was as brilliant as Einstein and as dedicated as Frankenstein.
Her original technique involved a medieval stretching rack – but she soon realized that human beings could not tolerate changing that quickly. 

So, she evolved a more gentle technique that involved the application of knuckles and an occasional elbow to extremely touchy places on the body of the client.
Many famous people have had Rolfing: 
*  Werner Erhard, a man whose time has come … and gone;
*  Buckminster Fuller, a man who, in his quest for the perfect spatial concept rendered the obvious … incomprehensible;
*  Shirley MacLaine, a dancer who went out on a limb to become the reigning queen of mysticism and pop-spiritualiity;
*  John Denver, a singer and seeker for activating the human potential who went looking for space and hasn’t been heard from, since; 

*  Greta Garbo who, forty years after getting Rolfed, still only wanted to be left alone.

© 1986 Lawrence Gold  •

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